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Build More Trust in Your Marriage

Betrayal, Lying and Cheating--Can You Create Trust in Your Marriage?
By Susie and Otto Collins
One of the most-asked questions that we received during our recent survey of our newsletter list when we asked the question...

"What's the biggest question you have about how to create more love, passion and connection in your relationship and your life?"-was around the issue of trust.
People wanted to know how to simply relax, enjoy and trust their partner without being threatened and insecure.
One person said it this way...
"How is it possible to believe in and trust your mate when there is so much betrayal, lying and cheating in society? Even when your mate hasn't done anything to arouse suspicions...most magazines, talk shows and other people have such awful stories that it makes people such as myself wonder if being part of a couple is even a good idea."
This certainly is a good question and one that many people face whether they outwardly show their concern or keep it inside and to themselves.
Our answer is to make a conscious decision to begin to reframe your beliefs about what is possible in YOUR life and what you want for your experience.
From the beginning of time, there have been unhappy, mistrusting people and there have been people who have been secure in themselves and happy with their lives. This is our choice every day and in every moment.
We can choose to focus on all the stories (and there are a lot of them) of break up, despair, cheating, lying and betrayal-or we can choose to spend our time focused on more positive things that uplift us.
You may be reading this and saying that this is easy for us to say but we're here to tell you that this is one of the most important things we have done to relax, trust and enjoy one another.
We focus on what brings us joy and not on what pulls us down.
If you are focusing on what is making news and the sensational stories on television, stop and focus on what brings you joy in your life.  If your partner isn't doing anything to cause the mistrust or uneasiness that you feel, it is your opportunity to start now to change your thoughts and your beliefs about your life.
If you are mistrusting and your mate or others are doing nothing to deserve this mistrust, somewhere within you is a limiting belief that betrayal is what you will have for your life experience.
A belief is just a thought that you've been thinking over and over and can be changed.
Here's what we do when a limiting belief comes into our thoughts...
We change it to a thought that is more in alignment with what we want.
Here's an example...
Let's say that you are with a group of people and there's a very beautiful woman or a very handsome man who you just know that your mate will be attracted to. Your mate may or may not actually do anything but you just know that the attraction is there between the two of them--and that's what you focus on.
At the moment you realize that you are thinking that thought, breathe and change your thought to a more empowering one that you can believe and say it to yourself over and over. 

You might tell yourself that you are okay no matter what happens, that your mate truly loves you and how much you appreciate  him or her, or even shift your attention to appreciating the beauty of this person and find someone interesting to talk with.
Now we're not going to kid you--this process takes work and you have to be aware of the chatter in your head and be willing to hold the belief that you can change it.  But it does work!
What if you feel that your mate (or anyone) is actually betraying you?
Don't keep your head in the sand, so to speak, and decide what you want in your life and what you are willing to "put up with." Focus on what you want but state your boundaries in the relationship. Be willing to stand by what you want for your life experience.
If you don't, no one else will.
Whether your mate or anyone is doing nothing to deserve mistrust or he or she is--your choice is to begin focusing on possibilities for your life and what you want.

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Contact Info
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins, PO Box 14544, Columbus, OH 43214
Contact Susie or Otto about Relationship Coaching by calling (614) 568-8282.
For all other inquiries, contact us by email.

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