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Communication Advice Article

What Our Bodies are Saying When We Don't Even Know

By Susie and Otto Collins

Many years ago the singer and performer Olivia Newton John had a hit song that was titled "(Let's Get) Physical" and one of the lines in the song was...

"Let me hear your body talk, your body talk, let me hear your body talk"
While we're not 100% sure what Olivia was trying to tell us in her song, we do know that our bodies DO "talk" in very real and tangible ways if we are open to hearing what they are  trying to say to us.
That's right your body can (and very often does try to) give you messages about things you need to pay attention to, not only in our relationships but in every aspect of our lives.
We're often so concerned about our weight, the whiteness of our teeth, or our hairstyle that we don't realize that the impression we make goes so much deeper.
Curious to know more about this?
Want to find out what your body could be saying to you and the people in your life that you might be unaware of? 
Last night Susie attended a free talk given by her friend Suzanne Roberts on Embodied Leadership for Women. As strange as it may seem, Susie and the other women attending got to see, hear, feel and learn firsthand that your body really does "talk." 
Susie had the chance to experience what it felt like in her body to come from the strength of who she truly is versus what happens in her body and what she shows others when she falls into old patterns that limit her.
In the class Susie attended last night, she was chosen as one of the "guinea pigs" and was someone that Suzanne (the instructor) used to help demonstrate some of the key concepts she was trying to share with the group.
Although it wasn't a new concept to Susie, it was still somewhat surprising to her that  someone else could "read" her body language so well, even when she's not consciously aware of what she was showing.
What was interesting for Susie in this class  was that when she was consciously connecting with her core strength and values, the women who were watching experienced her to be a much more open, friendly and vibrant person as opposed to when she wasn't in that strong place inside her.
Our observations in no way are meant to represent Suzanne's work in this area but merely to bring up some ideas that you might find useful and helpful in your relationships and other parts of your life.
One study that was quoted in the presentation found that 93% of trust is built on what your physical body shows others, consciously or unconsciously.
What we may not realize is that the reactions of others--whether they trust us or not--are based largely in what our body shows them rather than the words we say or what we do.
You might call it "intuition" or "gut feeling" but whatever it's called, we are all "reading" each other and making judgments from those "readings" in every encounter we have.
What does this have to do with you and your relationships--and what can you do about it anyway?
We'll tell you what it has to do with your relationships--and you can do plenty about it!
What if we could consciously choose to show others the strength of who we truly are as we connect from our hearts with them more of the time?
Can you imagine how much more love, trust, joy and happiness there would be if we all did that?
If this idea intrigues you, there are some ways to practice doing this, especially as we get together with friends and family during the holidays.
What better time to "practice" building connection and trust in our relationships!
Here are a few ways that we've found to be helpful in "showing up" in strength, vibrancy, purpose and love rather than from a fearful place within us...
1. Know what you stand for--what your values are--and live from that place as much of the time as possible. If you value honesty, then be honest, especially with yourself. If you value non-judgment, then don't judge.

Remind yourself often what these values are.
2. Take a moment before being with others to feel those values in your body--down to your toes.

There's usually a warm feeling and a feeling of strength that happens in our bodies when we do this. Try it and find out what happens in your body.
3. When you feel yourself being triggered or pulled away into old patterns (and we all do this), gently pull yourself back into grounding in who you truly are.
You could tell yourself something like this...
"I know that Uncle Paul just said something that hurt my feelings and made me feel like I was 6 years old again but I'm not 6
anymore. I am ..." (run through your values and what you stand for.)
Bring yourself into the present by reminding yourself who you are and what you want in your life.
We invite you to experience more joy and love in your life. We invite you to show who you truly are and live from that place inside you.

For information to help you communicate for deeper connection and love, visit


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Contact Info
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins, PO Box 14544, Columbus, OH 43214
Contact Susie or Otto about Relationship Coaching by calling (614) 568-8282.
For all other inquiries, contact us by email.

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