Marriage Advice, Marriage Tips, Marriage Help
Free Marriage Advice
E-Book
"Passionate
Spark
Lasting
Love"

Privacy Policy:
Your e-mail address
is never rented, traded or sold... period.

Marriage Advice Categories:



Surviving Affairs and Infidelity Article

Eight Heart-Wrenching Emotions You Will Face

Dr. Frank Gunzburg
Baltimore Maryland

Almost everyone faces these eight emotions when they find out about an affair. If you think you aren’t feeling one of them, I encourage you to look very closely at yourself and make sure it isn’t there.

Once you have fully examined the emotion, if you find you aren’t feeling it at all, that’s fine. Simply move on to the next emotion and look at that one. However, if you get to the bottom of the list and you think you are only feeling one or two of the eight emotions discussed, you could be in a bit of denial. I know this hurts, but you’ll move on more successfully after you face your own turmoil and pain.

Betrayal

This is the big one. I doubt that you would have picked up this book if you weren’t feeling this. Betrayal is the sense that someone has intentionally taken advantage of your trust. Betrayal is at the very root of infidelity. It is what causes many of the other emotional problems that come up when you find out your partner has cheated on you.

Guilt

Many people feel guilty when they find out about an affair. On some level they think that the affair is their fault. They might think, “If only I had been a better partner, this would never have happened.”

No matter what kind of partner you were, or are, you did not choose to have an affair and take advantage of the trust that was established between the two of you. You did not choose for the other person to hurt you.

Disappointment

When you have spent years building a life with another person and they come home and tell you that they have cheated on you, you are bound to feel disappointed. You will likely feel disappointed in them. But you might also feel disappointed in yourself, in men or women (depending on the cheater’s gender), in humankind as a whole, or even in life itself.

These reactions are normal. But be careful not to let your feelings slide into the despair of hopelessness. If you do that, you’re going to hit the roadblock we talked about above.

Anger

Anger is the fraternal twin of betrayal. They go hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm. When you feel betrayed, you almost immediately feel angry. If you are feeling a sense of betrayal and you aren’t feeling any anger, look to see if you aren’t hiding something from yourself.

Think about and answer these questions: What makes you so angry about the affair? What are some of the angry scenarios you dream about? What are the particular concepts about the affair that anger you? Are your angry feelings related to other experiences in your personal history? How do you feel your anger in your body? How do you express your anger?

Vengefulness

This emotion is usually associated with anger. Many people want to take revenge on the cheater, on the person the cheater was involved with, or both. They envision hurting the cheater as much as they have been hurt.

Instead of actually enacting your vengeful fantasies, try writing about them. What kinds of vengeful fantasies do you have? What would you hope for out of the vengeance? What does this reveal to you about the way you feel in this situation? How do you experience the vengeful feeling in your body? Were there other times or places when you had these feelings? How do these earlier experiences (if there were any) impact your current feelings?

Fear

When you find out your partner has had an affair, there are so many things to fear. You might be afraid that the life you once knew is over. You might be afraid that you will never be able to repair your relationship. You might be afraid that they will do it again.

Frustration

There is no question that having someone cheat on you can cause frustration. You likely will be frustrated with the cheater, frustrated with the person they cheated with, frustrated with yourself, and frustrated with the whole world. After all, something has been done to you and to your relationship that was and is out of your purview.

This feeling of frustration is often compounded by the fact that you now have to cope with so many painful thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it might feel like you are heaping frustration upon frustration.

Paranoid Feelings

I use the term “paranoid feelings” here to mean feelings that include suspiciousness. I am not using “paranoid” in the technical or diagnostic sense. Paranoid here is meant to indicate a deep fear that someone or something is out to get you or is engaging in some activity that will cause you pain behind your back. It is quite easy to see why the injured person in an affair situation might feel paranoid.

Paranoid feelings can be destructive to your peace of mind if taken too far. But a bit of suspicion or, perhaps, skepticism isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You deserve to have the cheater prove to you that they are not carrying on with the affair and will not get involved in another one. Be suspicious enough to get that need met. If you don’t, developing trust will be that much more difficult.

 

"Discover How to Restore the Trust After An Affair - FREE Course"

"I'll show you how to end the pain, restore the trust, ask the tough questions, and most importantly, determine exactly how your marriage or relationship can be saved after an affair AND how likely it is that an affair will happen again (and what you can do right now to prevent it)..."

Dr. Frank Gunzburg

Download this FREE new 7-step email course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg and start learning today how to restore the trust back into your relationship.

You'll learn...

  • How to start the healing process after an affair
  • How to cope with initial trauma of the affair
  • How to take control of your emotions and stay sane
  • How to get the images out of your mind
  • How to talk about the details of the affair
  • Why the affair happened and how to prevent it from happening again
  • Steps for restoring the trust back into the relationship

Simply add your name and email below and press the button that say's "Grant Me Access." After that happens in 30 seconds we will email you part 1.

Name
Email

Privacy Policy: I will never rent, sell or share your email address.

Dr. Frank Gunzburg is a licensed counselor in Maryland and has been specializing is helping couples restore their marriage for over 30 years. He is also the author of How to Survive an Affair, a step-by-step healing system that can help a couple repair their relationship after it has been shattered from an affair.

If your relationship has been damaged by an affair and you would like a step-by-step system for repairing your relationship, then please visit Dr. Gunzburg's site for more information: http://www.surviveanaffair.com

This article was used by permission from How to Survive An Affair:
The Seven Emotional Trials the Cheater Will Face

 

 

 



500 Communication Tips & Secrets




Relationship Trust Turnaround
 


Magic Relationship Words



Red Hot Love Relationships
 




How to Tell If Your Man's a Cheating Liar

 


7 Intimacy Secrets



7 Jealousy Stopping Secrets
7 Jealousy Stopping Secrets

Should You Stay or Should You Go

Creating Relationship Magic



How To Heal a Broken Heart &
Get Over a
Marriage Break Up
Or Divorce



Automatic Attraction Secrets


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Contact Info
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins, PO Box 14544, Columbus, OH 43214
Contact Susie or Otto about Relationship Coaching by calling (614) 568-8282.
For all other inquiries, contact us by email.

Affairs & Infidelity :: Free Marriage Tips & Advice Articles :: Blended Families:Build More Trust In Your Marriage ::Considering Leaving Your Marriage :: Divorce & Separation :: Healing a Broken Heart :: Improve Communication ::Intimacy Tips :: Jealousy :: Love Making:: :: Marriage Tips & Advice :: Money Issues :: Parenting Tips and Advice :: Romance Tips & Romantic Ideas For Married Couples ::  Romantic Wedding Anniversary Ideas :: Save Your Marriage ::Second Marriage Secrets:: Our Products :: Relationship & Marriage Coaching :: Affiliate Program :: About Susie and Otto :: Links and Resources :: Link to Us :: Other Articles 1 :: Other Articles 2 :: Your Marriage Advice Home

All rights reserved Internationally: © www.YourMarriageAdvice.com 2013 Site Map